Advice

So, as I probably should have expected, I've been getting a lot of unwanted/unwarranted "advice" about raising Nathaniel.  Not as extreme as the crap people have been giving Kristen, but annoying enough.

I guess some of it's my fault for opening up about my life, but still, some people are rude.  I have occasionally felt like I was being accused of being a bad mother.  Maybe I'm just overly emotional and misunderstand things, but I can't really help that right now.  Don't get me wrong, I've gotten lots of good advice, too.  When I post things on my blog or Facebook, I know I have to expect some advice.  I appreciate helpful advice from other moms who have experienced similar things. 

Some of the things I've felt judged about are trying to give my baby some small sense of a routine, taking him in public, letting him cry, feeding him whenever he's hungry, and not using a pacifier. 

I'm so sick of people acting like I'm crazy when I mention trying to get a nightly routine going for Nathaniel.  I'm not saying I'm going to schedule out every aspect of his life, but I'm going crazy over here.  I work full-time, so I can't just sleep when he sleeps.  I wish I could.  I don't get naps.  Believe me, if I were in any position to stay home, I would be staying home.  I wouldn't be as concerned about his crazy night time sleep schedule, but when I have to go to work all day and listen to him scream at me all day while trying to work, a 2 am bed time is not gonna cut it.  I've actually had some good advice from other moms about the night time routine, and we're currently using that advice.  Just hoping that things calm down soon.

I won't go on about the public thing, but when he was younger, I got a lot of crap about taking him around other people.

Now that he's almost three months, I really don't feel like a bad mother for letting him cry sometimes.  Part of his nightly routine includes him falling asleep nursing, being swaddled and put to bed, then waking up and screaming like he's being tortured.  Sometimes he does this screaming before we even put him down.  But after a while, I can't sit there and listen to a baby scream in my face.  If we let him cry it out a bit while getting ready for bed, showering, and whatever else needs to be taken care of at night, then he tends to wear himself out and fall asleep.  And he's going to cry whether I'm holding him or not,

Nathaniel nurses a lot.  It's a little bit ridiculous.  It does get a little old, but if the kid is really hungry, I'm going to feed him.  I've had people tell me to stop feeding him.  I find that strange.  I am trying to get him to go a little longer between feedings so that he doesn't keep up this routine of eating every hour some parts of the day, but if he is hungry and actively nursing, I'm not going to stop.  I don't want to listen to more screaming...

Okay, so the weirdest thing to me is the weird responses I get when I say Nathaniel won't take a pacifier.  I don't see this as a bad thing.  I actually had only planned on giving it to him at night and during naps, and I had no intention of him keeping it past a few months.  When I tell people he doesn't take it, they tell me I need to try different kinds, blah, blah, blah.  We tried two different types of pacifiers.  In the first 3 months of his life he maybe took a pacifier like 3 or 4 times.  He doesn't like it.  He gags or starts screaming louder if we try to give it to him when he's fussing.  He sucks on his fists, and that doesn't bother me.  People seem to think that if he's acting hungry, sucking on his fists, or starts to just barely get fussy, then he must need a pacifier.  I don't agree.  If he's hungry, he needs to eat.  If he's starting to fuss, then let him fuss a little.  He needs to learn to self-soothe a bit.  And just because he starts to fuss a bit, it doesn't mean he's going to have a crazy fit.  I like to give him a chance to calm down, and shoving a pacifier in his mouth just makes things worse.  I don't want him to get the idea that any time he makes noise I'm going to shut him up.  And I don't go around judging other people for letting their kids walk around with a pacifier in their mouth 24/7 when they are way too old for it, so why do people make such a deal of this?  He's not the first kid to reject a pacifier.  I won't get into my views on pacifiers on here because I don't want to offend anybody, but if my kid won't take one, I'm kind of glad.

Speaking of sucking on his fist...

I just thought this was funny.