So, anyone who has spent more than ten minutes in the vicinity of my dear Nathaniel probably knows that this kid has a set of lungs on him. I blame those steroid shots they gave me. He's a screamer. Big time. Any time of day, for no apparent reason, he may just burst out into death screams that can't be stopped. Well, unless you put him in the bath, but that only works if it's already bath time. I've modified my diet, I give him gas drops or gripe water, I nurse excessively, and I've even taken him to see my chiropractor. Fortunately, the chiropractor says he's got a great spine and hips and he just had one small something out of whack on the back of his neck. The chiropractor doesn't think he's colicky and says his kid was way worse. This could also be because Nathaniel was sunshiney and friendly while we were there. He likes to make a liar out of me.
I've accepted that Nathaniel is just a spirited, high-maintenance child. He wants what he wants. And at this point, we don't know what that is, since he can't really communicate effectively yet. We know he doesn't like to be put down or take naps, but he'll burst out in random screams (which sound like he's being stabbed) when he's just hanging out on my lap or napping. The only reason I don't believe that there's some physical problem is because he can turn it off as easily as he turns it on. And when he's happy, he's super duper happy and loves to smile and make funky happy sounds and talk up a storm. Sometimes I worry that he hates me, or that he's miserable with me. Jesse of course always tells me that's not true and that I'm just crazy, but sometimes it feels that way. It's really sad when your little sweet baby just cries/screams all throughout the day and there's nothing you can really do about it. Holding him close and cuddling do not work so well for him. He's also physically very wild and fights back. Also, he often calms down when I hand him off to someone else. That's probably what leads me to believe he hates me sometimes.
I should also mention that he's been teething for a while now. No teeth yet, but he is a drool monster and must have his fists in his mouth at all times. And he just wants to nurse constantly. So I'm thinking this probably contributes to the already existing fussiness.
Anyway, I'm not saying all of this to complain, I swear. It just gets rough sometimes and makes me want to pull all of my hair out, especially the nights that Jesse is at school for hours, or when I have something really important to finish up at work, and he won't stop screaming and just take a nap for a bit. It's rough on my sanity to listen to that constantly. At church, I basically drop in for the opening and closing hymns in Relief Society (usually I even miss the closing hymn), and I'm usually out in the halls or in the mother's lounge nursing him for the majority of the other two hours as well. I'm sure he'll grow out of it (as everyone tells me), but I think it's really hard for anyone to understand unless they've actually been there. I'm beyond grateful to have this little fire cracker in my life, and I wanted him more than anything. I just think I need to work on my patience and not get so frustrated and upset so easily. I had Jesse give me a blessing to help me out. Whenever I ask Jesse why our baby screams so much, he replies, "we were blessed with a fussy baby," or, "I guess we have something to learn."
This brings me to last night. Kristen came over to work on some stuff for Lindy's shower with me. Liam sat in Nathaniel's walker, and I put Nathaniel in his Bumbo, facing Liam. Probably five minutes later, Nathaniel, as expected, started wailing. Well, little Liam did not like that. He started making the saddest face and whimpering, like Nathaniel had hurt his feelings. It was kind of adorable, but also sad. He even backed away a few feet. After trying to calm Nathaniel for a bit, I finally just put him in his crib, turned on his light-up aquarium thing, closed the door, and let him cry for a little bit. While Mr. Fussypants was in his room missing out on everything, Liam was jumping away in Nathaniel's Jumperoo and having an all-around good time. Then I got to thinking, is this going to be our future? Is Nathaniel going to be that kid who can't behave and be nice to the other kids, so he gets sent off to time out while the other kids play? I sure hope not! For now, I'm just going to keep telling myself that he'll outgrow the screaming in a few months. And sleep through the night. haha.
He's lucky he's so darn cute.
I've accepted that Nathaniel is just a spirited, high-maintenance child. He wants what he wants. And at this point, we don't know what that is, since he can't really communicate effectively yet. We know he doesn't like to be put down or take naps, but he'll burst out in random screams (which sound like he's being stabbed) when he's just hanging out on my lap or napping. The only reason I don't believe that there's some physical problem is because he can turn it off as easily as he turns it on. And when he's happy, he's super duper happy and loves to smile and make funky happy sounds and talk up a storm. Sometimes I worry that he hates me, or that he's miserable with me. Jesse of course always tells me that's not true and that I'm just crazy, but sometimes it feels that way. It's really sad when your little sweet baby just cries/screams all throughout the day and there's nothing you can really do about it. Holding him close and cuddling do not work so well for him. He's also physically very wild and fights back. Also, he often calms down when I hand him off to someone else. That's probably what leads me to believe he hates me sometimes.
I should also mention that he's been teething for a while now. No teeth yet, but he is a drool monster and must have his fists in his mouth at all times. And he just wants to nurse constantly. So I'm thinking this probably contributes to the already existing fussiness.
Anyway, I'm not saying all of this to complain, I swear. It just gets rough sometimes and makes me want to pull all of my hair out, especially the nights that Jesse is at school for hours, or when I have something really important to finish up at work, and he won't stop screaming and just take a nap for a bit. It's rough on my sanity to listen to that constantly. At church, I basically drop in for the opening and closing hymns in Relief Society (usually I even miss the closing hymn), and I'm usually out in the halls or in the mother's lounge nursing him for the majority of the other two hours as well. I'm sure he'll grow out of it (as everyone tells me), but I think it's really hard for anyone to understand unless they've actually been there. I'm beyond grateful to have this little fire cracker in my life, and I wanted him more than anything. I just think I need to work on my patience and not get so frustrated and upset so easily. I had Jesse give me a blessing to help me out. Whenever I ask Jesse why our baby screams so much, he replies, "we were blessed with a fussy baby," or, "I guess we have something to learn."
This brings me to last night. Kristen came over to work on some stuff for Lindy's shower with me. Liam sat in Nathaniel's walker, and I put Nathaniel in his Bumbo, facing Liam. Probably five minutes later, Nathaniel, as expected, started wailing. Well, little Liam did not like that. He started making the saddest face and whimpering, like Nathaniel had hurt his feelings. It was kind of adorable, but also sad. He even backed away a few feet. After trying to calm Nathaniel for a bit, I finally just put him in his crib, turned on his light-up aquarium thing, closed the door, and let him cry for a little bit. While Mr. Fussypants was in his room missing out on everything, Liam was jumping away in Nathaniel's Jumperoo and having an all-around good time. Then I got to thinking, is this going to be our future? Is Nathaniel going to be that kid who can't behave and be nice to the other kids, so he gets sent off to time out while the other kids play? I sure hope not! For now, I'm just going to keep telling myself that he'll outgrow the screaming in a few months. And sleep through the night. haha.
He's lucky he's so darn cute.
Pre screaming fit. I couldn't believe I got them both to look at the camera! Such cuties.
First of all, love that picture. Secondly, Jesse sounds like a great guy. Third of all, I screamed at my mother as a baby, and I always liked her (except for a brief period in high school, but I don't think that's applicable here). I often worry Henry doesn't like me, especially when he pushes me away because he wants Ben, or when he runs to my friend for comfort when he falls. But in the end, he comes to me for most things, and he sure does love me. It's just hard to remember that sometimes. Plus, they're genetically programmed to like us. Science
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